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Bullying

Bullying is when a person deliberately and repeatedly hurts someone else. The hurt can be physical or emotional. Bullying includes hitting, pushing, name calling, leaving people out and teasing. If anyone feels scared or hurt when they are with someone, they may be being bullied. Bullying is a form of aggression that can escalate into violence. Children who are being bullied need adults to intervene and provide support.

If parents don’t know whether or not their child is being bullied, the following are warning signs that might indicate that their child is being bullied.

 

The child:

  • gets hurt or bruised

  • is scared or has nightmares

  • loses or has damaged possessions

  • puts him/herself down

  • doesn’t want to go to school

  • has no friends or party invitations

  • often feels sick

  • acts aggressively.

 

Parents can help their children deal with bullying by:

 

  • Asking their child what is wrong

  • Reminding children that they have a right to feel safe

  • Letting their children know what bullying is and how to spot it

  • Teaching them that telling about bullying is okay

  • Teaching children how to stand up for themselves (for example teaching them to look the person in the eye and say ‘stop bullying me’)

  • Teaching children not to laugh at anyone being bullied, not to join in bullying, not to give a person who is bullying lots of attention and not to leave people out of games

  • Telling the school and demanding action

  • Seeking help for their child to improve his/her social skills. A child who has been bullied can be at greater risk than others of being bullied again (even when the first bully has been dealt with). Children who have been bullied can benefit greatly from additional help, including debriefing about the bullying, and, in particular, making sure they have the social skills necessary to function effectively at school.

 

Parents can take steps to deal with children who are bullying others:

 

  • Increase supervision when the child is with other children

  • Explain what bullying is and why it is not acceptable

  • Talk with the child about the impact of bullying on others. Try to get them to understand what it is like for the person being bullied

  • Ask how they would feel if they were being bullied

  • Talk about what they think might help them to stop bullying

  • Show them how to join in with other children in a friendly way (For example: first observe a game and the other children, look for a natural break in the game for joining in, choose a person with a friendly face and ask them if you can join)

  • Make clear rules and consequences, and be consistent in addressing inappropriate behaviour

  • Praise children when they play cooperatively with others

  • Consider enrolling the child in a group program that helps children learn to manage their behaviour

 

 

Good resources for parents can be found at:

www.education.unisa.edu.au/bullying and www.bullying.com.au– Bullying: Spotting it, Stopping it poster from Psychologists for Peace– Conflict resolution posters and Wise Ways to Win story book for families and children from Psychologists for Peace.

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